|
Post by sugarrush on Aug 26, 2009 0:11:15 GMT -5
yep! ^^ that paragraph sounds suspenseful now doesn't it? People who will read that won't know what's going on, or why she's so depressed, and some may be vulgar and wonder if she has any clothes on while she's laying there... XDXD *hits self with an iron pan over the head*
but u get the meaning right? XD
|
|
|
Post by keyblader110 on Aug 26, 2009 0:24:42 GMT -5
lol I know a little something about you now. XD Anad yes it does......but Shes clothed in a white robe.......so dont worry
|
|
|
Post by sugarrush on Aug 26, 2009 0:33:12 GMT -5
XD at least i behave myself! ok, so back to that last paragraph, can you bring yourself to bring more details into it? Like what she sees before looking up into the sky, or if she sees any clouds/birds/whatever up there. Also how the grass may feel when she's lay's down, etc etc.. and also, see if you can try to describe her in thrid person. For your talking about her in that format in a way.. XD like hair color/clothes/shoes/eye color/height etc etc.. XD sounding complicated yet? And hate to say but i mus leave..
|
|
|
Post by keyblader110 on Aug 26, 2009 18:43:26 GMT -5
A beautiful young woman appars, drifting across the feild. Her long white dress drags lightly on the ground. The wind blows and her long blond hair moves weightlessly. Amaie walks softly across the grass. She looks up into the big dark sky sorrowfuly. The stars shine ever so softly " I dont see the reason Im here" She thinks to herself. She turns slightly to lay down on the ground. As she laid there she feels a cool breeze go across her face. The cold slightly stings her eyes. She shivers softly from the chill. She looks at the sky and the clouds move effortlessly throught the sky. Better? Im tring to empliy that is night.........I like it if I say so myself.
|
|
|
Post by sugarrush on Aug 26, 2009 22:08:05 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by keyblader110 on Aug 26, 2009 23:00:03 GMT -5
lolok I posted it......On to Temps1!!!
|
|
|
Post by sugarrush on Aug 27, 2009 0:20:51 GMT -5
yep!! ok, so obiviously u have made one already before since u joined in a rp on khi, but we'll just make one from stratch here. ^^ first up is usually the name... XD so i need u to copy/paste this: Name: into ur next post and then make a name. to make things a bit eaiser, just use the one that u have already made in ur previous paragraph and just come up with a last name!
|
|
|
Post by keyblader110 on Aug 27, 2009 0:27:24 GMT -5
lol Amaie is one of my charater.
Name: Amaie Hatacori
Prime knows all about her. XP
|
|
|
Post by sugarrush on Aug 27, 2009 0:30:22 GMT -5
XDXDXD
next is a two parter type deal so just like before:
Age:
How are the baby created?:
and lets see what u come up with... and omega knows her? XDXD do i want to know? XDXD
|
|
|
Post by keyblader110 on Aug 27, 2009 0:35:18 GMT -5
Well shes an angel but I guess Name: Amaie Hatacori Age: 27 How are the baby created? ? I dont understand. lol you could meet her if you want but eh...
|
|